Hello everyone=) Back to journal entries! 'Where do I start? I'm already lost!' I can't say life's been pretty... pretty? yea, I am starting to detest the workload very much and yea, although I hate to admit it, I must, I've failed practically every test so far. 'All the worlds' piling on me'. I can't sleep again, but I doubt I'd be up till three like the last morning. Besides the suffocating mount of homework, I've been having alot to sort out too, CCAs. I do wonder if my over ambitiousness had over taken me when I ddecided to join floorball. Don't get me wrong, the people are a fun lot, but I dont exactly fancy the idea of being unable to put in a hundred and one percent in whatever I do. But I'm in it, and I have to hold onto my obligation to give my best. I can't wait for June, when I'd finally get to purchase my own floorball stick. We're having a friendly match against NTU this saturday, tomorrow, and I am absolutely unprepared with only two sessions of practice. But still, I'll go for it=)

I just went up to my dad's room to check if he was home, and happened to glace at a photo of me and my two younger brothers there. Something struck me, guilt. I felt ripped inside for some reason. Somehow I had wished they could go back to the time when they were younger, and I'd take care of them, the way I can't now, like a bigger 'kor'. I recall how I always thought they were a hassle, and now that I only see them once a week, they've become a 'hassle' I miss. They aren't exactly doing well in school, and I know they need me, unconsciously to guide them, I'll find the time, I have to.

My dawgs in the hood aren't in the best times. I don't know if I'm in the position to say anything in detail, but we really gotta pull through. We gonna run it on teacher's day- Slip slide pass we know who what when where and why and we gonna find how to serve em up. 'It's the respect that's keepin us goin'

The june holidays are coming and I'm actually quite excited. Though studys' gonna be the main flow of everything, I've got things on the list to tick off. Glen and I are gonna 'burn it' for rugby, the hood and I 'run it' for august, I and I 'crash it' for floorball tournament, Joelle, Keniston, and I gonna 'chinga chang' out our first album (I really hope it pulls through), and I've got to finally spend some time with Mum, and I wanna spend some time wit you...

But I guess the real Icing on this life of mine is far out of reach.

It's really ironic how the easiest things to do become so hard, like saying... anything, anything at all, like smiling or forgetting it all.
I'm guessing by now, you already know,
Cause it's been louder than the words which were saying so,

May all the world witness what I speak inside
Yesterday's feelings just come back and hide
Hoping they'd stay there and never come out
Everything goes blur when it's you I hear about
Anything becomes nothing when I catch sight of you
Remembering how it was so easy to walk right on through
Take my heart, like it wakes to your name
Intense it becomes as a passion of flame
Sober and silent, in a sweet summer setting
All of my prayers for one single blessing
Cold or warm or both at a time
Repeating those seconds over in my mind
Yet in the Empyrean of your presence I feel as fragile as strong
Singing the chorus of the closest love song
Take my heart to make or to break
Anything I'd do - any risk I would take
Living this life would be living a lie, If I said when I saw you, my heart didn't fly

Charles