I fell again, while blading to school- thank God for guards- will blade again tomorrow, if I can wake up=) I don't wanna blade too often though, because it's one of the few times I get to sit and spend time with my dad, in his car while he's driving me to school. I feel like a kid whenever he does, and i like it. I do miss being the kid who daddy always looked out for. The limited freedom in the safe zone of your parents watching. I wrote a letter for my dad and I cried like a lost kid while writing it. Haha and I plan to let him see it only on Christmas, on http://charlestopapa.blogspot.com - though he doesn't celebrate it.

Early in the morning, I did something quite wierd. There's this girl, whom I have absolutely no clue about- except for her name. While walking to the canteen, I waved and mouthed a hi to. I must have been dead sleepy- because after I walked pass, I realised that I wasn't acquainted with her in any way at all and my "Hi " must have been absolutely awkward! She didnt respond at all - I think. HAHAHA

I went to the gym today and worked on my back- now i can hardly sit straight!- its so tired. Today is like work your body out to the max day because I bladed to school, worked ou, had floorball training, and bladed back home- HWOW! I'm still alive! HAHAHAHA- not funny.

Let me let you in on a secret- I easily like people- sometimes too easily

Yeap- here's some things close to the heart if some would call it.

I've fallen for a number of people, simply because they texted me get well messages when I'm sick, or sat with me when I was eating alone!

I conclude, It's the really little things, which you'd never think about, that have the biggest effect=)

I'd like to carry on on this post... but

soon I'll be typing zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

=)\\Nites!

Back to the aim

I think It's about time i sat down and did some soul re- evaluation. I am starting to appear more and more like some jack of all trades- for some reason, it's not something to be proud off as portrayed by everyone else. And I was thinking: I work out, i read and study- but  for what? That we'll explore later on.

My current CCAs: Touch Rugby, and Floorball

My current exam scores: U, U, S, U, E,  F (FUUSE- HAHAHAHAHA..... ok lame) 

Potential things I can do with my results and CCAs: Roll on the floor.

So right now- My life has come to a halt- I can't go anywhere, and I cant do anything about it until next year. Oh wells? Nope. Holidays do not = rest time for me. Holidays are the best time for Self Improvement! But I'm asking myself: For who? For what? How?

There are SO many things I wanna do and try- but It's about time I've decided what I really wanna do- what I really wanna try, and go all the way in it.

Music+ Work out+ read - I guess that's more than enough for the holidays

Why improve yourself charles? 

I wanna Start a school for the less fortunate in a less fortunate country/ I want to help my mum retire where she wants to (Italy- that's not exactly easily affordable)/ I want to help my dad retire where he wants to ( Decision pending)/ I want a happy family with zero money problems=)

What do I need? lot's of money- A Heaven lot of money

So how am I gonna get it? Score A's for every single test which treads cross my life

It's as simple as that Charles=)

About time!

Hey everyone! I know it's been awhile so... here i am! My exams were a tragic mess- i think so- its quite obvious. But yea, i gues it was my fault=) didnt study hard enough- played too much. Anyhow, PW is really draining me- so much for after exam enjoyment.

I would like to tell all my fellow friends and everyone else... to stop saying I have a thing for "K" (I use "K" so that the rest of the world who has no idea doesn't get a new one=) I liked her before i really knew her (I used to think she was a hell of a pretty girl (I'd give her that)) ... and I still don't know her (A few conversations don't tell you much really) so.... i guess you can't say it was much really. More like a crush. But it really was one- that's why in the card I gave her for her birthday, I said :" I find you're a really attractive person" and I'd like to get to know you better=D <-- ok? haha but it didn't happen cuz she was too busy + not interested (as told by my friend who was told by his friend who was told by K's friend who was told by her, herself.) But, fret not because it's not something to slice for because 1 i've tried and 2 it's no point crying over spilt milk (can i use it this way?) haha so don't for a sec think i'm "emo" over BGR stuff okai? because there wasn't a much of a "R" in the "BGR" here! haha cheers people!

To more important stuff, I think it is another year in Innova- and anyhow, as much as I'd hate to admit it, I think it'll be better that way. I've had all teh fun anyone should have in a JC already and completely jeapordized my studies- I'm a slow learner=) <-- can't help it... maybe. 

So anyhow- i guess i don't have much of a holiday ahead for me (Thanks to PW- though I am truly honored to be working with a  really wonderful team- I am really blessed=)- except for the overseas trips which I am truly very much looking forward too!=)

Self Improvement begins now! Laters!

That boat has sailed

It took me awhile to realize where I was, where I am

Pockets empty, a void for a heart, swallow my place, there and then

But fear not, maybe rejoice, Im walking quite well from where I began

I swear this was such an unexpected end

Fret not for it doesn't mean a wall

that's for kids with no sense at all

I'm walking quite well,

I'm not waiting for your call

I'm quite well, and it's a might as well

like how you'd just walk pass

does that ring a bell?

So that boat has sailed 

and I't's not sailing back

I dont look the part- It's a matter of fact

But fret not it does not mean a fault

And no more does it feel like a wound and salt

More like hand left empty

A dance by myself

And I waltz with a dream in a corner of  the shelf

I'll call it an idea which bloomed into a truth

The way I trip on my shoelaces made it a spoof

And the cold sweat, from the cold smiles

made it a rumor, and these feelings are proof

Farewell, as well, at least I've left a note

So at least you'll know about the sailing boat

Discovery of the century

This is how you can score an 'A' for your geography examination (or even qualify for a nobel prize)

What is the importance of the mantle in continental drift?


b) The mantle consists of both the Lithosphere and the Asthenosphere where the Lithosphere overlies the Asthenosphere, divided by the Mohorovicic discontinuity. However, though this is not answering the question, one must argue that it is not absolutely true that the “Mohorovicic divide truly exists. I do believe that this is one of the major flaws in the history of Genuine Geographical study. Mohorovicic could have been the name of the founder of this theory, maybe. But I dare say that if Moho was a man, who’s parents were geologists too, his parents must have been named Litho and Aestheno for him to be put in the middle. I beg to differ, that this man, cannot say what he has put forward is true, because he, has never been into the discontinuity himself. I am not saying I have, but the use of common sense has given me the visual image that there is in fact, no Mohorovicic divide, nor is there a lithosphere or an Asthenosphere. I believe, that they are all one, that they are, just simply, the mantle. You see, it is not possible to place a divide anywhere between the two spheres because the heat from the core diminishes slowly, gradually, as it gets further away from its source. For example, 200km away from the core, the temperature may be ‘x’ but 201 kilometers away, the temperature will definitely be less than ‘X’ where it can be any distance beneath the crust from the core of the earth. For example, if you turn on the oven and leave it open. If you stood 2 meters away from the oven, you would feel almost no heat. But as you take steps closer to it, you will gradually feel more heat being emitted from it until you eventually reach the source and burn yourself. But the point is, that like the oven, the core is the source of heat and its strength weakens as it gets further away from the core and that the temperature decrease is constant. It would make no sense if you could have a divide between the oven and yourself called the Hitachi discontinuity where you’d suddenly cook yourself after crossing a certain boundary. I however, will still give Moho some credit for his very well attempt in putting his name in history and call the new theory, which I have discovered with my fellow classmate, the Mohorovicic Gradual distribution. But for professionals who would rather address this discovery by its true name, they shall call it C.A.K.E., or in full, The Charles and Kevin Explanation. So, back to the question of how the mantle might be important in the processes involved in plate tectonics.

Thank You.

Morning assembly: Now we will announce the selected three groups for the Pop talentime showcase"
Me: Oh well... cant be us since there were already three names on th elist=/
Assembly man: ok ffirst we have: bla bla bla (i forgot who), led by lalalaalala (i forgot whom)
Me: Sad stuff... wish my group got in...
Assembly man: Next we have Trouble Cleft led by Charles Low from 0741C.
Me: What in the world did that man just say?


WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! hahahahah yupp WE MADE IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we practiced on sat and changed the song/ songs and and and I CANT WAIT FOR TML!!!!!!!!!! HOPE THE REHERSAAL GOES GOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wish me luck=)

I have to blog something today...
where do i start... mm
I guess the latest peice of news is that I had a crush on this girl in school. I gotta admit it. And I conclude its just a crush, well at least started off as one, since I started liking her way before I even got to know her.(Dont make sense yea? well It didnt to me=)
So her birthday just passed and I made a lil gift (which took a lil more than eight hours to make) and I was really really really happy I did it! I just wanted to see a smile and her 'I had hoped to be estatic' reaction=D But... though I didnt really expect much of a reaction... I was suprised that I didnt get half a reaction at all..

Wow! haha yea... your welcome anyhow.

Getting a half hearted reply can be frustrating sometimes... but that'll do anyday when you're getting non at all=)

And well, the last thing I gotta say today, is that If someone wants to tell me something like.. for example, Im not interested, it's always easier to say it to me(through sms, call, or mail- call's best.. or even face to face!) than to tell your friend to tell her friend to tell my friend to tell me.

Cheers!

I've been thinking...

Alot about NS... and well, apart from teh fact that I'd love to be a pilot and I completely dont mind their Jungle trails and harsh living, I cant get over my fear of heights (so much for pilot huh?) I reeeallly dont wanna do reservice for the years after because I know I can do much more AND I still cant get over the fact that I have to serve NS before becoming a British citizen (I dont wanna call any government gay... but..) I mean, dont get me wrong... Singapore, is with no doubt one of the most sophisticated cities in the world and Iove living here.

ANyhow, today we entered the POP talentime showcase auditions and.... We have no idea of the results yet!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

not funny.

HAHAHAHA


CHeers!

Random thought=)

I cant believe that's how I'm supposed to conclude it

And I'm supposed to infer the silence?

Didn't that mean something?

AHAHHA are you serious?

No more was it about the things she said, I heard from you
Now its more of what she didn't say, what you didn't do

Should I cry or merely weep
In thoughts so deep, now I must sleep.

Nites mum.

Oh man! It's been a pretty long time since I've last updated my blog from what i see! Anyhow, life's been pretty the usual- nothing bad happened so far. Nothin' really good too.

I took a look at my friendster profile and thought: 'That's a long time ago' hahah jokes! yea it was. I guess most of the stuff there still applies but here's an update of my life!

After this short- uneventful holiday, I'm gonna step into a new lifestyle- just to see how it goes. And no, i have no idea how healthy it is for both body and soul... but what the heck eh? hahaha like i said- we'll see!

On mondays- I'm gonna really burn those neurons in school till around 6 thirds before I run it home to slip into my un-school uniform to breathe in the early morning air! Yeap, time for the night life! But of course this form hof relaxation has to be earned with my unhindered concentration in school.

I've got touch Rugby on tuesdays so... you do the math= Home sleep- Wednesday.

Wednesday is study day again- till about five thirds before I run it home and... night life? I've yet to decide... c'mon sam! NEXT WEEK!

Thursday is concluded with touch training and Music to fill in the gaps

Friday is untouched... yet. so fill me up!

Sat nights I'm floorballing with Feat-G and probably working out- probably=)

Sundays are Alleluia (is that how you spell it) days, lunch with mum and gramps and the aunts and runnnin it home to prepare for the next week of school.

My mid course hasn't even started and I'm already planning for the holidays- call me insane- and i'd probably agree.

So many things I wanna do!

but yea that'll be on another post=)

And please people, I was born on teh 22nd of july so my birthday is over!
Cheers!

gotta sleep now.


zeds

WOW! what a week. So tiring 'arhxz'
haha oh wells, touch tournament was just yesterday... and it was really fun! haha yeap. Though we didnt win- at all, the experience was great. Hey! haha and we did considerably well for a team which only practiced together only once. Anyhow, one last one for flooball and FREEDOM! I can finally start studyin and doing all the other stuff I wa- nah... hahaha studyin first will do yea? hahaha. Anyhow, I must say, this ""passerby" person did shed some sense to me so- thanks!

I let my brother try floorball- and he liked it! haha finaally!- Something to do with them on the weekends!

My legs have been jelly the whole day from fatigue!

In the cab home, the driver missed a turn and hit the breaks all of a sudden- causing the cab to skid! My gosh, haaha i was just stunned- and he didnt even apologise! jokes, then he nearly knocked a turning car.

From tomorrow onwards... I've got to study REAL HARD- For lawschool!... I think mama's cooking=D
BRB!

Greetings everyone! I apologize for not updating for so long- Been REALLY BUSY.

So whats up?

LOTS! (Really)

Let's see... a couple of weeks ago, I was suffering form a bacterial tonsilitis infection (holy crap). But I'm ALIVE~ phew...

Li Ting was really sooooooo nice to help me get the nerds ropes! Thanks Bunny!!! XP

And right now, I'm in the middle of the floorball 'A' divisions tournament-league thing. It has been a great experience so far, and I find the fast paced game rather addictive- the adrenaline and energy of the game truly gets me going. So far we've been up against M.I., Y.J. and N.J., all fantastic teams where we experienced a draw, loss, and a win respectively=)

So well... prayin hard for the next few matches =D (just spent 2 hours practicin!)

Anyhow, Just yesterday, before the match with N.J., I got into a really unnecessary arguement with my literature teacher. I shant elaborate the explicit details of the most childish conflict online or I might get caught and forced to make some public apology (For something I... actually... I was just scolded for nothin... so... If ya wanna know the details... just ask me=)

But I must thank Victor and Kenneth for really standing up to make things clear.- How arrogance can get on every sane person's nerve...arg. But fear not guys, I got you covered- I told our form teacher to listen to our side of the story first before swallowing all the first-hand Bu*lsh*t from whomever it may(MAY) concern.

Currently, I've been really busy with floorball... though I really miss rugby. AND, I've yet to find time for 'Art day'. *Sigh*
But once it's over, I'll be back people!

I was really glad that the new coach actually acknowledged me as the touch rugby- boys captain=)
Thanks

So that's for my sports life

Now for my studies. I passed only 2 H2 subjects (dang.)

For Lit-I passed, but I really had thought I could have gotten higher with my content.
For Geog- I failed by 1.75 marks... not forgetting that I missed a 25 mark question because I thought I could have done either one of the two 25 mark questions (I must admit that it was REALLY Dum)
I failed Chinese B- passed the compo part (I know.. fail is fail but hey, I can't read and I'm still tryin!=)
Math went suprisingly well, disregarding the fact that I still failed.
And Econs, I passed- Just passed- but I really could have done better (If only I read the correct source!)

So ever since, I've been tryin to squeeze time to study a lil here and there, starting from term one work- In other words, I'm pretending that I just entered a JC in July.

My day?- was pretty interesting? well... it wasn't bad=)
Straight after COP, Glen, Victor and I went to Cityhall to play Local Area Network games(Can you believe it? Charles is actualy playin games?) But the most suprising part of it was that I could play CS- pretty suprising well for a complete blockhead for the game! (*cough* I was the *cough cough* top fragger *cough*) It was really funny hearing the kid beside me curse and swear after I killed his character while I was just laughing at the fact that I actually managed to hit someone. (He eventually decided that I was looking at his scrren( I wasn't ) and he turned the entire monitor away (HAHAHAHA) Then the child prodigy started lookin at my screen (Your Welcome!=) Jokes! It's just a game dude! hahaha.

Random fact- It has been more than a year since I've last played LAN games at all (WOW~). And four hours straight made me desperate to find a tree to fight myopiaX)

So then Glen and I went to have lunch, and we made our ways home. I went to serangoon to meet up with Joevenn to study (Which we did... a lil) then I thaught him how to play floorball. He left early so i stayed on till about eleven thirty, practicing running with the holey ball (It was tiring I tell you!). And finally, back home.

I've been thinking alot lately- kinda like always.

Everytime I try to talk to you
I forget when I want to be perfect too
Everytime I try to pull a smile
The weight of my thoughts make me lost for awhile
Don't get me wrong because you really get to me
It just comes five seconds later and then you'd see

See me jump, squeal and rhyme
Muffled in action like a fanatic mime
Is my hair out of place
Heart beats out of pace
A galloping steed winning the race

But I don't know how to begin
All the courage locked in
It'll be my own sin
If I don't ask you in

I know what to do
But it doesn't make sense cause its you
I needa be something different, be something new
Be who I am
Be the one who began
And reach for that hand
With a touch, not to end.




I Lay onto velvet Empyrean
Keeping real, your sweet thaughts aLways


CHAD

What are the odds?

Now

Here's an update of my mm.... messed life? Jokes!. The exams have just ended, and I must say with one of the most inexplicably stupid end too. I can't believe I missed out a 25 mark question! I realised how much supposedly study time i've spent doing everything unproductive. Of my so thunderously pledged 'to-dos' I've done almost none- or non e to be exact. I guess I underestimated time- or overestimated myself... or maybe both. It really sucks thinking of it.

Anyways, it was really nice to see you again, and yea, it did take me completely aback when you appeared- probably messed up my mind so bad that screwed up!- Just Kidding=)

"The side of my eye
Saw your contrast with the backdrop sky
It couldn't have been how your steps came closer
Though not for me, but it took me over
One called my name and I chose not to believe
I turned away for a moment relieved
Turned to face another hundred eyes
Telling me I can't disguise
The racing heart, the running mind
Simply to say- I lost track of time-

I've been on some movie spree recently:
Watched Fantastic Four with Glen on wednesday (Geog would be tomorrow)
Watched Hot Fuzz with Glen @ Nine on Thursday
Came home, took a shower and watched 300 with dad (He fell asleep)
Today (Friday) I'm gonna watch transformers with Dad and Bros.

Take it from me, Hot Fuzz is one of the best shows I've ever seen- wonderful British Humor!

So now after all the time I had to do the things I wanna do have completely slipped through my fingers, I'm gonna (finally) go through the entire mid-year syllabus (bit by bit and shred it really). And I'm guessing, while all of you are enjoying after exams day, I'd be in some place studyin my ass of on a topic you'd probably laugh at. But yea, I need to nail my studies- about time too... or a little late.

Then... I've got the other things I wanna do (swears*- about the expected time constraint. I'm probably gonna have to livelike the Hot Fuzz character, on the dot.)

# Floorball...'A' Divs- gotta practice.

#Touch Rug... Oh well, if anything's up and they decide I should know, as tentative vice cap, then yea, I'll be here=)

#Joe, Kev and I intend to have an art day (very looking forward to it)

#The Crew! We have to do PeiCai's teacher's day

#And I've yet to record (sorry Faizal, you will get the first copy, and I wanna say, I really appreciate you're most enthusiastic support.

#Contact Rugby... I always have to ask myself, how far can we go? But it's really fun- I just gotta warm up to some people=)

#Ivan did ask me to join basketball- I'm up to the challenge, but not the time- sorry dude, if I finally get the time I'll play, but I don't wanna do anything I'm not gonna put my heart fully in to.

#I hope that's all... Oh yea...Free Running! (Glen! look @ what you've done! Now I've got another Extreme sport on my mind!!!!!!)

In four minutes I'm gonna get ready and pack my bag.

School's gonna start... And I'm in the holiday mood- yea seriously (A lil late also I know, but the holiday didn't feel like one at all) HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- not funny










HAHAHHAHA

ok it's eleven thirds- See ya!

Looking forward to the next half- year!

All the best people,

Cheers!

Today was... what happened today?
Oh yea... jokes, I woke up seeing a text from Glenn saying he cant make it for gym today so i dropped the phone and plonked straight in bed. HAHAHA then he thought I already went but forgot to bring my phone (cuz I plonked without replying) and took a cab there- sorry! So at nine, I woke up and replied- It's ok, no worries- and he was already on his way there! He called me up and I was... "oh no...you gotta be kiddin me". So i rolled out of bed and ran to the iron to iron my uniform- I was a wreck and stuffed my bag with whatever I thought I needed. And even without socks I strapped on my blades and flew to the bus stop. Notice I didnt mention washing up at all? Missing the morning wash was still ok... but I forgot to bathe the day before- dont worry, I felt as disgusted as you do now- HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

So we gymed still

and never used our blades after = I lugged it all the way to school

And I attended this seminar... wasn't completely useless but... well.... ok , I had a good time drawing=)

After that, I sat around the canteen and hung out with Esther, Sandran, Victoria and... Ah.... yea i think that was all there after andd they were contetmplating on wether to watch a movie or not- they ended up watching an old flick on Wee Sin's lappy while I realised i had tuition at home in em... what was it... fifteen minutes?- HAHAHHAHAHA- not funny.

Tuition was fun=)

Then I went home to... no i didnt... I went to ppopular! yeap, and finally signed up for a students card. I kinda spent the rest of the day at home clearing my wreck of a room and it actually looks neat again! *claps!*

The rest of the night was spent on msn and listening to music- plus buying dinner for dad and I=)

Heres to you=)

SS-Awake

With every appearance by you, blinding my eyes,
I can hardly remember the last time I felt like I do.
You're an angel disguised.

And you're lying real still,
but your heart beat is fast just like mine.
And the movie's long over,
that's three that have passed, one more's fine.

Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

I'm trying real hard not to shake. I'm biting my tongue,
but I'm feeling alive and with every breathe that I take,
I feel like I've won. You're my key to survival.

And if it's a hero you want,
I can save you. Just stay here.
Your whispers are priceless.
Your breath, it is dear. So please stay near.


Will you stay awake for me?
I don't wanna miss anything
I don't wanna miss anything
I will share the air I breathe,
I'll give you my heart on a string,
I just don't wanna miss anything.

Well, I guess I've officially decided that... I'm not gonna study this week. I'm going to slack... and slack... and slack. Yupp I guess this isnt exactly a polishing impression, but... i know what im doin=)

Anyhow, about my day... it was pretty uneventful for the first half. Except for the part where I went to meet the Aquila Excos to dicuss the entire organisation. I volunteered to design the board and, *claps* they liked the idea! *phew*

And in the evening, Hamim Audi and I went jamming! It was fantastic! (Like it is for almost every jamming session I go to) and we played songs like, 'Your Guardian Angel' and 'Wherever You will Go'. Thanks guys! It was really fun!

Uh yea... and I am burnt, very burnt from yesterday's tournament! My entire face is falling off(skin only=) but yea, its bad enough. Anyhow, I hope everyone is having a real happy holiday! (I know it don't exactly feel like one but...=D)

Anyhow, here's one of my favourite songs by RJA:

Your Guardian Angel:

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

An angry poem

You can't blame me for how I feel
Lacerations twitch my kneels and blisters scale my heels
And my heart winds the reels
You can't blame me for how I feel
The hooks gone rusty
But still be no catch
I burn the fire
But no ferry I fetch
I'll be clenching these fists so tight
And squeeze out these tears of a melancholic night.
So what if the acid burns my filled stomache
When I'm starving in a famine of broken dreams
She walks this way, and walks away
Steps over the letters which I've strung and lay
And I wanted to stand point and lead
But now i'm left where open wounds bleed
Explicities roll off my tongue,
Blunt as my mind
And the wants for a change
Becomes a suffocating bind
And the best locks where my closest feelings be kept
Morph to an open floor where the winds have them swept
Angst says maul in vengence
Conscions fence me in sane defence
But of all the wars I indulge, in a punishment gluttony
There is one of the all which instead devours me
The mountains I cannot move, the rivers I can never change
The noise I cannot silence, and the happiness in mocking range
Sure I am angry, but what do you care?
Give me an example of one time, anywhere
Shovelling feet carry me through the bars and i'll lock myself up
The walls will scream out graffiti depressions while I down a poison cup
Even perspiration will race to keep a distance of my fluctuating thoughts
And the pulsating rythm shallows in eroding clots
I cant sleep because my intuition is twisted
And more twisted it becomes when the night races pass me
I am angry that I cant think of confide
Only to lead myself to social suicide
So upon a passing soul I plead for a dime
Roll on the floor like a demented mime
To recieve a palm of treason injustice
So I cling to its ankles with desperate practice
To taste the shun of an even more broken charade
Impale my discrimination in the charade parade
I'd say **** the world but there are nicer words to use
to describe a heart splintered into my skin,
A mind far abused.

Charles

The 'holidays' have already started and I haven't got anything done yet. Yea I have worked out a lil. Bladed relatively much (had a great time blading with Glenn, thanks=) , hung out alot. But I haven't had an inch of academic progress. I gotta start soon. So... waht's been going on so far? I apologize if i appear cynical in this post, but it was sheer internal tension that has driven me to update this blog. I had a floorball tournament last saturday and... it was a good experience, got third i think. I could have done better, but my mind far exceeded my body in lasting there. Well done guys. And oh yea... there was the passing out ceremony for school leaders.

I thought it was really cool that the captain position for touch was going to some really nice mate. But i cracked like a glass when I saw it fall in her hhands instead of mine. Something in me knew that if it weren't her, it'd have been me. And I have yet to swallow it, I really wanted it, I guess I wasn't enough. -stares at screen-

There slips something else, right through these fingers

Project work is getting on my nerves, not at all because of the people im working with- they're great people, but its because this subject feels like a huge road block, a tangled knot on a string, its just in the way. And I cant just overlook it.

Today, there was a touch Rugby tournament, well done girls- it was a good experiencec at least= and we can all learn from it. I felt the main factor there was speed, but you'd all stab me for making you run too much. Yea, i'd help if I were something.

But something was missing, and it wasn't a position.

It was an empty space.

And after the game, 6 hours later, we went for dinner, Glenn, Moses, Mas, Ting and I. It was nice getting to know them better and they are all wonderful people to me, interesting too. There was of course alot to learn.

What's that saying which refers to the situation of having a great day crushed at its end?

I guess it was a little hard for me to smile and lie through my teeth, but yea. I hate to point out names, and I guess by now you'd have known. But how the hell can anyone expect tact when tact isn't in their dictionary in the first place?

I need some sleep, but my minds' yet to feel tired.

and there is so much more to say...

I am definitely not in the right state of mind today.

Today was sports day, got a silvere medal for 4 by 4, i figured it was a really big achievement for me.
Had GP test and Chinese B one too.

' The world waits for no one'

I am terribly tempted to twist that line with love

'But I'll wait for you-'

Why?

'Because you are my world'

Yea I've been having all these insane build ups of stress anger and joy.

I had fun mingling with the crowd and making new friends, one of which I remember was 'fifi'

'But the hustle and bustle become a silent noise'

What? yea, I cant stop, it just keeps coming. I don't quite understand all these poetic things which come to my mind. I guess -

'It came its time to begin, The dormant Love bird within awakes to sing'

I will score no less than Bs for my summer test.
I will record the 'Troubled Clleff'
I will floor the ball sport.
I will gain 4 kgs
I will break in the moves for august

'Something snapped within when something closed without
Something rose to begin, when something died out.'

'I'll silence it before the first note
And I'll write over the lines I first wrote'

All said-

Seven days pass and nothing's amiss
Hearing the same calling, trying to be bliss
Even If I had to, believe not I'll try
Sympathy dont matter, may it not if you cry
Anything would be better
If you left me alone
Deep in you know, such is true to the bone

I know it is not true
Something I can do
Anything if it be
I just want nothing but you
Did it not come out right?

Where do you get such empty hopes?
Everyone listens but with so much to cope.
So I know I'm not the best, but the best that I can,
Anything for you, everything I am!
I don't think you quite get it, or more choose to believe not
Do you not see my actions, I want you to be forgot.

I believe anything can be, can you at least try to see?
Care not do I yet, I don't want us to be.
Reasons I cannot help are the odds that I'll fight!
It is no one's fault if you lose slumber tonight.
Everything my Love! Everything I'll give!
Do thyself a favour, and take oneself's leave.

Charles

Hello everyone=) Back to journal entries! 'Where do I start? I'm already lost!' I can't say life's been pretty... pretty? yea, I am starting to detest the workload very much and yea, although I hate to admit it, I must, I've failed practically every test so far. 'All the worlds' piling on me'. I can't sleep again, but I doubt I'd be up till three like the last morning. Besides the suffocating mount of homework, I've been having alot to sort out too, CCAs. I do wonder if my over ambitiousness had over taken me when I ddecided to join floorball. Don't get me wrong, the people are a fun lot, but I dont exactly fancy the idea of being unable to put in a hundred and one percent in whatever I do. But I'm in it, and I have to hold onto my obligation to give my best. I can't wait for June, when I'd finally get to purchase my own floorball stick. We're having a friendly match against NTU this saturday, tomorrow, and I am absolutely unprepared with only two sessions of practice. But still, I'll go for it=)

I just went up to my dad's room to check if he was home, and happened to glace at a photo of me and my two younger brothers there. Something struck me, guilt. I felt ripped inside for some reason. Somehow I had wished they could go back to the time when they were younger, and I'd take care of them, the way I can't now, like a bigger 'kor'. I recall how I always thought they were a hassle, and now that I only see them once a week, they've become a 'hassle' I miss. They aren't exactly doing well in school, and I know they need me, unconsciously to guide them, I'll find the time, I have to.

My dawgs in the hood aren't in the best times. I don't know if I'm in the position to say anything in detail, but we really gotta pull through. We gonna run it on teacher's day- Slip slide pass we know who what when where and why and we gonna find how to serve em up. 'It's the respect that's keepin us goin'

The june holidays are coming and I'm actually quite excited. Though studys' gonna be the main flow of everything, I've got things on the list to tick off. Glen and I are gonna 'burn it' for rugby, the hood and I 'run it' for august, I and I 'crash it' for floorball tournament, Joelle, Keniston, and I gonna 'chinga chang' out our first album (I really hope it pulls through), and I've got to finally spend some time with Mum, and I wanna spend some time wit you...

But I guess the real Icing on this life of mine is far out of reach.

It's really ironic how the easiest things to do become so hard, like saying... anything, anything at all, like smiling or forgetting it all.
I'm guessing by now, you already know,
Cause it's been louder than the words which were saying so,

May all the world witness what I speak inside
Yesterday's feelings just come back and hide
Hoping they'd stay there and never come out
Everything goes blur when it's you I hear about
Anything becomes nothing when I catch sight of you
Remembering how it was so easy to walk right on through
Take my heart, like it wakes to your name
Intense it becomes as a passion of flame
Sober and silent, in a sweet summer setting
All of my prayers for one single blessing
Cold or warm or both at a time
Repeating those seconds over in my mind
Yet in the Empyrean of your presence I feel as fragile as strong
Singing the chorus of the closest love song
Take my heart to make or to break
Anything I'd do - any risk I would take
Living this life would be living a lie, If I said when I saw you, my heart didn't fly

Charles

Lock to Unlock

I can't say life is complicated
But it is miles away from easy
There are so many things to do
And I probably forgot anything but busy
I probably forgot everything except work
I probably forgot everything but strain
I probably forgot what I've forgot
Then again, probably not

I haven't forgot, and I know I can't
I try to forget, but it keeps coming back
Back to the time I tried waving at you
And even the time my words tried to pull through
How I keep stumbling on the breath which called out your name
And the smile which left me far from the same
There are so many things but you keep coming on top,
All the world is piling, they're not letting me stop

I've got somewhere to go, and I'm starting again
I'm rollin the dice, but this isn't a game
I've got somewhere to go but there's something I should do
Because every little move is drawing me to you
I better lock up my heart because I'm already falling
Lock it away because I hear your name calling
I still look around to see if you're around
And I unconsciously hope you're all safe and sound
I'll lock up my heart and I'll throw the key away
But i hope, somehow you'd find it by the end of the day

I've got somewhere to go, and just so you know
I want you right with me, wherever I go.


Charles